Play "Snakes Crawl At Night" Or We're Gonna Kill You

Play something sweet
Play something mellow
Play something I can sink my teeth in like Jello
Play something I can understand
Play me some Brickyard Blues*

For fifteen years I played in bands that travelled around the prairies playing cover songs in bars and nightclubs. Over that time I calculated I have played 2,160,000 songs. Not different songs mind you, but 2,160,000 songs nonetheless.

Here's the math:
50 songs a night/6 nights a week = 300 songs
300 songs/week = 1200 songs/month
1200 songs/month = 144,000 songs/year
144,000 songs/year x 15 years = 2,160,000 songs

(note: 50 songs/night is an average)
(note as well: these figures are only for the period I was on the road. The total is higher if you include post-road gigs and bands)

During that time we played songs that satisfied our musical mojo and set us apart somewhat from other bands because we didn't play a lot of Top Forty hits. We played the other songs on the album. It worked for the most part, but every now and then there would be requests from the audience. 

Before loonies and toonies, there were one and two dollar bills. Very often we would receive a song request written on a bill. Sometimes the bill would be a fiver or a ten or rarely a twenty, most times it was a one dollar bill. A buck for a song, such a deal. 

We decided that we would save the money/song requests and the bass player took charge of handling the request money. We called it the "slush fund." After a couple of years we had amassed around $250.00 in the slush fund. Then we had a gig cancelled in Moosamin, Saskatchewan so we drove to Regina (where the next gig was booked) and bought motel rooms for three nights until we could move into the band house the club provided. We dutifully paid for the motel rooms with the slush fund. I remember the look on the front desk clerk's face. All of the bills had something scrawled on them. Still, cash is cash and we got the rooms.

The Great Unwashed likes to hear their favourite songs and if there is a band to play them, even better, because bands are, as everyone knows, a personal jukebox. Generally the requests were for hit songs or standards, some we knew and some we didn't. Those requests were easy to deal with. The more difficult requests usually came from a bar patron, usually drunk, during the set breaks. "What kind of music do you guys play?" they would ask, after we played two sets. "Do you play anything good?" would be another. These questions invariably would get responses like: "We play Lithuanian tap dance music" for the former and "No, we learned bad songs. Everyone plays the good stuff" for the latter. Duh.

I have also been asked questions while I'm singing. I don't know about you, but I am able to sing and talk at the same time. It's a talent, what can I say? Oh, and let's not forget, "last week's band played [insert song here] why can't you guys play it?"

The Great Unwashed has the perception that if you are a musician playing in a band that plays cover songs, you will automatically know every song ever written. It would be quite an accomplishment if we could have played every song ever written, but we couldn't. And, not only every song ever written, but specifically the song the person is requesting. Plus, we should play it because: a) the person just walked in; b) there is some kind of celebration going on; c) if we were any good we would play it; d) the person is special, so of course we should play it; etc. For an entertaining and humorous look at this exact thing, check out the video below the fold.

More often than not, we would placate the set break request people and say, "sure we'll play it." And then they would go away. We wouldn't play the song, and they would forget. No harm done. For the money requests we made an honest attempt at the tune if we didn't know it, if we did know it we played it. Money talks. I remember a gig at the Lethbridge Hotel, an old divey joint with strippers in the daytime. One night we received a request for "The Baby Elephant Walk" written on a twenty dollar bill. Good thing we had a keyboard player that knew it. "The Baby Elephant Walk"? Hey, twenty bucks is twenty bucks. We played it twice.

So, the next time you think about requesting a song from a band, first make sure you understand what the band is playing. Don't ask for a jazz tune from a country band. Make sure the band hasn't played it already, musicians hate playing songs twice. And wait until the singer has finished singing, ventriloquism is not something singers do well.

And take "we don't know that song" for what it is. The band doesn't know the song. Most musicians are accommodating souls and will play the tune if they know it. Ask politely and don't be a jerk.

Write the request on a twenty dollar bill, that always helps.



*"Play Something Sweet (Brickyard Blues)" by Allen Toussaint